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The action takes place at a cricket pavilion in the 1970's.

A summer's day. About 1pm.

Roger: You don't half mess me about at times, Mim, I don't make this list for fun.

Bob: It's me, hi ... at the club - you know - cricket

Miriam: I'm not patronising you, darling, I'm looking for the car keys

Dennis: Any chance of a knock, is there?

Kevin: Hello, Den, this is Maggie.

Maggie: It's a blister

Ginnie: Yes, darling, it's me, the scourge of Sainsbury's.

Kevin: You could say Rog - that this plaster has become the metabolic steroid on my Achilles heel.

Miriam: Well, now, Sharon - introductions. This is...

Alex: Now look, don't go touching any of my switches, will you?

Ginnie: Hello, darling. Bob: Oh my God! Kevin: -it's stuck, the bloody thing's stuck!

The same day. About 5:30pm.

Roger: (jiggling his feet with pleasure) Twenty up!

Kevin: You're in next, aren't you?

Roger: Miriam! If I was out there, batting to win, and you were in here, sobbing your heart out about your timetable - I would bat and if necessary go on batting all night, even if it meant using a Davey lamp...

Sharon: I would have gone before I came out, that's what I usually do, it drives me dad mad - well I call him me dad, but you know - he says why can't you do it before you get all dressed up? I suppose he's right in a way, I mean it does seem daft getting all ready and everything and then having to go to the toilet but my mum's the same, she says it's something to do with a woman's mechanisms.

Maggie: I can't have babies. Roger: I'll be your baby.

Kevin: Talk her out - like they do in films. (He puts the bottle to his mouth, his box to his ear) Control tower to bog, control tower to bog, are you reading me?

Bob: I'm a damn good cricketer and no-one - no-one - can say otherwise - all right, mister smart-arse rotten lawyer?

Roger:(a broken man) Oh Miriam...
She sighs, stands and moves slowly inside the pavilion
Miriam: No, it's all right thankyou. I can manage...

Last updated 8/11/2001